The Epic Search For Curly Fries
by ga-mei
Summary: Entree for JayleeJ's Think Outside The Bun Neji wakes up one day craving curly fries. He searches high and low, waiting in long lines, and having to put up with Lee. NejiXSaku SakuXKiba oneshot


Chibi: This is entrée two! Of JayleeJ's oneshot Think Outside The Bun.

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.

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Neji Hyuuga woke up one morning, with a strange craving for _curly fries_. He tried as hard as he could to shake off this odd feeling while showering, letting the warm water cascade onto his chest. During breakfast while trying to enjoy Eggo waffles like a normal person should, he actually began to daydream about these wonderfully curly, deep fried potatoes.

"Damn." He cursed to himself. "I really need CURLY FRIES!" at this moment, Hanabi was walking by and decided to eavesdrop.

"Um. Neji-nii-san, why don't you try a fast food restaurant? They all have curly fries!" she smiled, her suggestion sinking in deep to her cousin.

"Excellent idea Hanabi." Neji mumbled, giving a nod and running off to find the yellow pages, hoping to discover a fast food restaurant nearby. As he flipped through the pages he noticed Taco Bell. "Hn." He studied the ad. "I wonder if _they_ sell curly fries." He decided to try his luck at this, and grabbed his car keys, driving out to Taco Bell.

A/N: the following will cross over with Think Outside The Bun and if it's in italics, it's because its DIRECTLY from JayleeJ's fanfic

Neji found himself in line, just behind Lee. "Hn. This shouldn't take long." He barely glanced at the menu hanging above the counter that separated the employee's from the customers. Twenty minutes later, he looked ahead to see what was taking so long. Lee was at the front of the line. Doing nothing. Neji gave a deep groan, and looked to see who was maintaining the cash register. Gaara of the Sand. "Oh wonderful." Neji mumbled to himself, rolling his eyes and preparing himself for a VERY long wait. _Lee handed over the appropriate amount of cash and memorized the meal number off his receipt. Neji moved up, drumming his fingers on the counter._

"_Well, I want a number 6 with curly fries."_

"_We don't serve fries here Neji."_

"_What the hell!"_

"_I know. Freakin' stupid…so you just want a number 6?"_

"_Sure."_

"_It's $4.72"_

"_...But I'm a Hyuuga."_

"…_So..."_

"_I don't have to pay! Duh!" Gaara gave Neji an incredulous look._

"_And why the hell not!?"_

"_Cause we're so prestigious, we got it like that." Gaara rolled his eyes._

"_Well you don't 'got it like that' here. Just pay so we can go on with life. You're filthy rich. $4.72 is like a drop in the bucket."_

"_But—"_

"_Goddamn," said Gaara exasperated. "You Konoha losers are so fucking retarded. Why can't you just order and pay like normal people?!"_

"_You're not exactly 'Mr. Ordinary' either!" said Neji "…but anyways, are you going to give it to me for free or not?"_

"_No!" The Hyuuga frowned._

"_Well fine! I'll go somewhere that __does__ have curly fries!" And Neji proceeded to stomp out the door, scaring people with his Byakugan if they didn't move out the way fast enough. Gaara flicked off his retreating back. Please. A free meal just cause of your last name? What a jackass. _

Neji slammed the door of his car and let the engine roar. "Stupid bitch won't sell me a freaking #6 for free. I'm a fucking Hyuuga!" he grumbled to himself driving down the street to KFC which he found…was…blown up…. "I don't even wan't to know what happened here." Neji sighed, and drove onto Mac Donalds. "I hate this place."

When he entered, he found himself in a 25 person line. "There's something wrong with this place I swear." He mumbled under his breath. "Everything but the French fries here suck and yet people keep coming here!" he also wondered why anyone would stand in such a long line for greasy, poorly cooked food. Ironically, he found none other than Rock Lee ahead of him in line. "Lee? What the heck are you doing here?"

Lee turned around and gave Neji a large bear hug. "Oh! My youthful friend! I am on a very youthful search for the best fast food restaurant in town! It is my youth that allowed me to test KFC before it was _un_-youthfully blown up by none other than the Akatsuki member Deidara."

"Right." Neji pretended to care. "Let. Go." He soon found air able to enter his lungs.

"Oh!!!! I am dreadfully sorry to end this _very_ youthful conversation so soon! But I have to move forward in my epic quest to find the most youthful fast food in town!" Lee leaped up to the cash register and placed his order to Chouji gleefully. To Neji's surprise and relief, this order placement lasted no longer than 60 seconds.

"Next!" The Akimichi bellowed.

Neji stepped up and scratched his head. "I think I'll have a Big Mac, no onions, with curly fries and a large soda."

"Sorry. No curly fries." Chouji answered. "Still want that? I'll have it if you don't want it, you just have to pay for it."

Once again, Neji seemed appalled. "Why do _I_ have to pay? You're the one feeding me. You should pay _me_ to eat _your_ food."

Chouji blinked. "That has no logic whatsoever."

"Yes it does." Neji seemed to have planned this out. "_I_ am a _Hyuuga_, _you_ are an _Akimichi._ Hyuuga. Akimichi. Better looking. Not better looking." At least Neji had enough common sense not to use Chouji's sensitive word 'fat' when comparing the two.

Chouji frowned. "So that's a no."

Neji blinked. "I suppose so." He walked out the door, wondering why he stood in a fifteen minute line for _that_ 'pleasant' conversation.

Next was El Pollo Loco. He found himself the only customer in the entire restaurant, and ordered to Ino. "I'll have a grilled chicken with curly fries." Obviously Ino was PMSing or something because she was in a horrible mood.

"Hello? Could you like, keep to the freaking menu? Where the heck does it say _curly fries_? Our sides are: beans, corn on the cob, salad, coleslaw, mashed potatoes, _French_ fries, Mexican rice, and macaroni. No where, does it say curly fries!" Ino vented to Neji. "Now pick a side we actually _serve_, or leave!" she screamed, giving the poor Hyuuga protégé a deathly glare.

Neji was honestly slightly frightened. "I…think…I'll choose b, leave." He turned and left quickly, to avoid a plastic fork chucked at him, or something of the sort. Next on his agenda was Pick Up Sticks. Kami. What is going _on_ in this guys head?! He stepped up to Tsuchi, Kin to order this time.

"I'll take a rice bowl with curly fries on the side." He ordered blankly, surprised at the no wait this time as well.

Kin frowned. "Could you repeat that?"

"Rice bowl."

"Mmhm."

"Curly fries."

"Ah. You lost me."

Neji blinked. This was the only asian that could have a blonde moment. A/N: I swear, that is not made to be offensive in any ways! I have so many smart blonde friends, and I like one too! So this is just to add humor, unless you didn't find it funny, in which case I should stop talking and let you continue with this story…

"I want a rice bowl with _curly fries_." Neji repeated once more, very slowly.

Something seemed to go off in Kin's head. "Oh!" she smiled, having finally understood. "We don't sell curly fries." She realized blankly.

Neji groaned. "My purpose here is done." He turned and walked out, bumping into Lee, who was pulling bits of macaroni out. "What happened to _you_?"

"Ino is in a very un-youthful mood today." Lee whispered, frazzled by the grumpy blonde's attitude.

Neji couldn't help but give a smirk and walk all the way out, this time, on his way to Jack in the Box. He parked, and got out, stepping inside and ordering to Sakura this time, Kiba nearby and watching alertly.

"I'll have a large soda, and a deluxe cheeseburger…with curly fries on the side." He mentioned curly fries slightly softer, as if afraid to mention the food at this point.

"M'kay, that'll be $2.50 Neji." Sakura looked up, casually, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"That's it? No screaming? No chucking forks at me or dumping old macaroni on my head? No Lee? No blown up restaurant?" Neji was clearly shocked.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, eyeing him oddly. "Why would you think that?"

Neji, did a very un-Neji-like thing at that moment. He leaned over the counter, and planted a kiss right on Sakura's lips. "Kami, am I lucky." He slapped two dollar bills into her small delicate hands and threw his fists up. "YEAH!" out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kiba glaring.

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Chibi: Okay, Neji was very OOC in the end, but I hoped you enjoyed it! Please review!


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